The condemnation

When i wake up tomorrow, i might find myself weighed down, very likely all the way at the bottom, by the regret for having a whole year (or a whole month, even just a whole week) and still...not making the August 1st deadline. But...who else am i trying to fool but myself?

The bitter truth is, whether this happens as a direct result of my procrastination or not, i am not a responsible adult. i am this ROV on an open sea, programmed to but somehow failed to self-propel. i am simply not capable. [Right...a loser statement it is.]

Perhaps the best penalty of all...is not being able to make it. The best lesson even, it almost seems.

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Let bygones be bygones, i have to learn to. S is right, "it is not the end of the world", though it has to be the beginning of a new chapter.