Exercise

Starting this Summer B session, i have been working out regularly at Dodge. Each time i do the StairMaster for half an hour (and moved from Level 3 to 6 within the past five weeks), and then i work on a few other "muscle" machines.

This is the second time that i seemed determined to take regular exercise. During our last few months at Eastern, Sam got me into practicing racquetball. But until now, i only played racquetball twice at Dodge. Playing alone obviously does not attract me.

Isn't it odd i work out nowadays only to avoid period pains? i used to be fine with sweating. When the beads of sweat, at times even streams, rushed down my cheeks, my back, or my chest, satisfaction arose. This pure delight of working out is similar to making love; it is a pleasure to enjoy one's own physical being.

i used to love running to my top speed, feeling the breeze, the sweating afterwards, and i liked being under the sun, being outdoors. In elementary school, i was on the track team, until dad decided to pull me out, giving a lame excuse to the team coach that i caught colds often (as if staying away from exercise helped not getting sick). i still stuck to sunlight. Later in junior high, i wasn't a terrific basketball player, but i took every opportunity to play basketball with friends, even in bitter cold when my ears were frozen to the point that my head hurt.

Can't recall when i actually stopped the craving. It was as if i, half-consciously, half-hypnotizedly, bid farewell to a friend that i had long cherished.

Some people might argue, and i tend to agree, that physical training brings inner calmness. i never tried it when feeling blue (which i should have), but it is not hard to imagine how it works. Hard training and tough workout exhausts the body, thus numbing the senses. i think it is also true that, when one falls asleep (due to fatigue), s/he simply does not feel upset or depressed.

Almost had a heart attack today at the gym, or so i thought. It was after i got done with the StairMaster that i began to have some strong stabs of chest pain. Sam said it sounded like low blood sugar, but i did not feel weak as i did every time the low blood sugar occurred.

This time, it might be easier to stick to my workout. After all, i am no longer working alone. The machine is my coach, and it monitors my activity, exact to the second. As long as the physical condition allows, i don't think anyone would want to "surrender" before the machine beeps.