Oops

Well, this shall not be the conclusion note of the year, but i am seriously fed up with these few months of your vanity and pretense. Please stop being pathetic, and quit pretending to be the person that you are not.

My advice

When you scream that there are hundreds of cars going towards you, maybe it is you that's been going the wrong way.

Dumb as dumb can be

...biting the bullet.

Wish granted

Wish of the year: You want a deadline, you got a deadline! (But leaving a quick note as a post is sort of cheating.)

Truth be told

Turns out that we are all running away from something, somewhere, and/or someone.

Just a thought

People always say "you've got to move on," but sometimes i feel that by doing so we simply left too much behind.

Bidding farewell

i understand that Death eventually will take away all of us - yes, Death, king of darkness, end of everything, of all worldly connections, precious or sad. Death is among us; people die all the time. You've seen it on TV and in the movies. However, when Death turns to those close to you, then this "certainty" becomes cruelly, painfully unexpected.

Grandpa left us on Monday, February 14, 2011, a few days after being rushed to the emergency room one early morning and later to the Intensive Care Unit. At first, it seemed that he might have been able to make it, but his heart and lungs were rapidly failing. He had so much difficulty breathing even with the oxygen mask. Still, his death was not an expected ending of the hospitalization. The following week, each time Mom and i spoke over the phone, she cried hard, and so did i.

That was (Saint) Valentine's Day of 2011.

Seven weeks and a half later, on Friday, April 8, 2011, grandma passed away too. Two weeks before her death, she first complained about some lump in her throat, and was diagnosed of Lymphoma Cancer. The doctor said it was terminal. At the hospital, she did not respond well to the aggressive treatment, lost her appetite and suffered internal bleeding in her stomach, so the treatment was stopped. Grandma asked to go home, the doctor also agreed that home was a better place for her to...leave. She hung on for one more day at home, with her children and grandchildren around her. Dad said Grandma closed her eyes in peace.

Within two months, Mom lost both her parents. i think Dad understood the loss better, because he buried his father a long time ago when he himself just turned a father, and then his mother (my paternal grandmother) in 2002. In Mom's family, somehow the relationships were much tighter and closer. Mom has five other siblings, each married with children. i grew up with cousins my age; all the hanging out was irreplaceable. The get-togethers, the sleepovers, and the holding hands. Mom's family still gets together very often. Now we share the same grief. To me, Grandpa and Grandma were the closer grandparents of all three (my paternal grandfather died before i was born). They had always been the loving, caring grandparents.

i didn't make Grandpa's funeral, and very likely, i will miss Grandma's as well. So Grandpa, Grandma, this is my own farewell to you two: "Goodbye, Grandpa, and goodbye, Grandma!" i know i will be missing you a lot. It's not the "Goodbye!" we grandchildren always yelled at the end of each visit when the car pulled away - it is now a real Goodbye, a Goodbye that will no longer be smiled and waved back at, a Goodbye that can't be unaccompanied with sorry tears, and an end-of-everything Goodbye...

阿公再見！阿嬤再見！

The similarities

Didn't realize until last night the similarities between you and you, the part about not wanting to let go, and about not being able to be true to oneself...

Sad but true

In an event like the devastating earthquake and tsunami in Japan, it is proven again that there is simply no Superman in our world.

Going against the big bully

Well, it all started with the opera singing in the office. AGAIN, for the N-th time. Sometimes it is opera singing right next to you, opera singing in the open lab area, or recorded opera singing on the computer. In general, it's opera singing...for praise. (Frankly the singing was not the only problem. i also hated the part when we were asked to look at the drawings.)

i am self-righteous, that i know for sure, and this time it's definitely personal - but i do not at all regret going against BT, especially after what he said: "Well, I've been here fifty years, so I forgive you."

Case closed

Phew.... Not exactly a milestone, but close.

When exactly...?

Even without an Internet search, i knew this was definitely going to be one of the questions Harry Potter readers ask one another:

"At which point did you cry while reading the Harry Potter books?"

When did you? i did for the first time when Dobby died. So...six and a half? After that, it was quite obvious that there was no need to stay strong :-)